Golf Game-gctid828858

[RGrew176]

Moses, Jesus, and an old man were enjoying a friendly round of golf together.

Moses stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and landed in the water trap. Moses then parted the water and chipped the ball onto the green.

Jesus stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and landed in the water trap. Jesus just walked onto the water and chipped the ball onto the green.

The old man stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It went sailing over the fairway and headed for the water trap. But, just before it fell into the water, a fish jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth.

As the fish was falling back down into the water, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the fish in its claws. The eagle flew over the green where a lightning bolt shot from the sky and barely missed it.

Startled, the eagle dropped the fish.

When the fish hit the ground, the ball popped out of its mouth and rolled into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus then turned to the old man and said:

"Dad, if you don't stop fooling around, we won't bring you next time."

[CptCrunchie]

Hole-istic golf jokes! My favs!

Jesus and Moses were teeing off on the 12th green, a 140yd Par 3 with a large pond the middle of it that went right up to the edge of green.

Moses grabs his 9 iron from his bag.

Shaking his head, Jesus asks, "Are you sure you don't want to use an 8 iron here?"

"Jack Nicholas would use a 9 iron here, so I'm using a 9 iron!"

WHACK! SPLOOP! Moses ball falls short making a big splash. "Drat!"

Angry, Moses grabs his pitching wedge and heads to the edge of the water, as Jesus grabs their golf bags to take them to the green.

Just then, the next pair arrived at the tee. They see this guy at the waters edge tapping the surface with his iron. Laughing, they ask Jesus, "Who does that guy think he is, Moses?"

"Have news for you," attested Jesus, "that is Moses, ....but he thinks he's Jack Nicholas!"

[CptCrunchie]

Okay, another one.

Rabbi David loves golf. Every time he has a couple of hours to spare, you will find him on the golf course.

It's 2 days into Yom Kippur, a time of self-denial through fasting, prayer and repentance. But when he awakes, he sees the sun just rising on a gorgeously sunny day. He thinks, 'If I am quick, I could get in 9 holes before anyone is up.' He grabs his golf bag and heads to the course.

5 minutes later, he's standing on the first tee. It's calm, with only the sound of a distant bird to disturb the stillness.

The first hole is a 450yd dog-leg to the right. He stands up to the tee and readies his stance.

Right then, high above him in Heaven, God and Jesus are watching the Rabbi. Jesus says, "Dad! Look at that Rabbi! It's Yom Kippur! Doesn't he know he's not supposed to be enjoying himself?"

God calmly says, "That's okay, son. We'll get him."

With a well practiced swing, the Rabbi tees off. The ball starts flying straight down the middle of the fairway. But just then, a big wind gust picks up the ball and blows to the right, following the dog-leg. It eventually lands on the edge of the green, bounces twice, and trickles into the cup.

"What?" screams Jesus, "I thought you were going to punish him! But instead, you just gave him a hole-in-one!"

"Oh, I am punishing him, Son. Yes, I gave him a hole-in-one, ....but who can he tell?"

[CptCrunchie]

One last one, ....though I could go on.

Here's an excellent way to avoid getting struck by lightening when out on the golf course.

You take your 1-iron, hold it high over your head, and walk down the middle of the fairway. Why would you do that? Because not even God can hit a good 1-iron!